Swine Flu

Dear God,
Is swine flu a repercussion of partying too much on spring break? Really perplexed. Have you found a carrier to get it back to the US yet? Was swine flu on the Arc with Noah, or did you craft it in your secret Jesus science lab deep in the fiery core of the earth? Did you invent swine flu to be the downfall of Twitter? 140 characters seems just enough for the average post modern intellectual to string together a witty jab and flood the internet with bad puns.

Hiding in the safe room,

Kyle in Illinois, Age 23