Guns

Dear God,
What is with the guns? Are we out of control with these things? While it's possible that we 'needed' to evolve our meat-hunting tactics, guns have gotten out of control. Do you carry a glock in Heaven? Does it matter? Does it not matter? Is paintball in heaven real war? Does violence exist at all up there?

Do you support sport shooting? Those really nerdy guys who claim to only shoot for the pure sport of blowing up a few clay targets and honing in their marksmanship–are they fooling us? Do they have ulterior motives by always carrying these guns in their car wherever they go?

Where do you draw the line on fighting to preserve personal freedoms?

Hoping you turn all bullets to chocolate,
Kyle in Illinois, Age 23

More Wholesome Than You Are

Dear God,
Do you buy organic produce? Did you create organic creatures? Did you create the pesticides to spray on non-organic produce? This system of purity is far too complicated. Yet the terminology is now bleeding over into christian spin-off marketing tactics. Was this your idea to nudge these people to hop on the 'organic-advertising-titlewave?'

While it feels acceptable that inspirational/relevant authors profit from their according works, riding a flash in the pan marketing scheme centered around the word 'organic' may be a bit low.

There's something nice about visualizing a Church body as a growing plant, but can we just leave it at that? The organic vs. non-organic merry-go-round can take place outside holy walls.

Lastly, was the Garden of Eden 'organic' in its purest of states? Was it tainted with pesticides by mankind? Is the term organic around now and stronger than ever just to taunt us and remind us of humankind's eternal mistakes?

Free range pesticide spraying,
Kyle in Illinois, Age 23

Segway

Dear God,
What is your moral stance on Segway personal transportation? Is this a blessing some of us are very apprehensive to embrace or a temptress in disguise?

While this technology may enable the less-physically-inclined to tour the holy land, it does raise question about your layout of our universe. When you gave human beings each a body did you factor in the rate at which we would harmoniously evolve capitalism and technology? Now looks what's happened. The satisfaction of a 10 minute walk is soon to be a thing of the past. Will you sound the trumpets then? Pull the plug?

What if we gave 10% of all Segway personal transportation device purchases to the church? Could that make up for a few early years of beta testing human laziness?

Perhaps we've not quite seen your vision for these divinely engineered robot unicycles just yet. Are you working in wonderful new ways to synchronize our development of technology and capitalistic intentions? These gyroscopic-2-wheeled-golden idols do share similar proportion to the size of a pulpit ... will street evangelism be blessed with an all new wave of hip & cool tactics? Can't wait for the version with touch-screen LCD New Testament, available AWD, and mobile communion kit available.

Thoroughly perplexed,

Kyle in Illinois, Age 23

Ice Jesus

Dear God,
Is there something we're missing here? What is the spiritual connection with your son and ice hockey? Where's the obsession? It can't be solely from the English translation of scripture and the metaphor of the 'save,' can it? Is Jesus the goalie of the Universe? Are you the coach? Are we all fans with heavy bets riding on the game?

Or is it just because sports are all the rage these days? Sports fans idolize their favorite players ... but God-fearing sports players project their idols into their favorite sports AS players? This is all very confusing for us. Again-why ice hockey?

Holding my hat,

Kyle in Illinois, Age 23

Chia Obama

Dear God,
What is your stance on Chia Pets? Proper use of human resources? Also, is it possible for you to tone it down on the political capitalism? Come on. Obama Chia Pet? Is this really something anybody should be free to own? I know late night television needs content to fill ad space but this can't be the best use of Chia technology. Can't we do a Chia resurrection? A Chia Garden of Eden?

Not watering Chia Obama anytime soon,

Kyle in Illinois, Age 23

Fast Food

Dear God,
What is your opinion on deep fried food? Why does something so detrimental to human health taste so comforting and wonderful? Would it be too easy to make vegetables taste like chilli cheese burritos? Is it enjoyable for you to plug arteries and plant heart attacks in buckets of KFC? Is this all an important part of humans learning self-discipline or a cruel form of almighty recreation?

Eyeing up Chipotle,

Kyle in Illinois, Age 23

Hope for Jesus

Dear God,
Is this really how you want to represent your firstborn? Seems like a sell-out in my humble opinion. Riding the coat tails of the Obama Administration to make a buck. Is christianity that hard up? If so–perhaps we could come up with something original for a change. If the only fashionable way to embrace a religion is through black-market-look-alike second rate knockoff t-shirts, Christianity is really missing the boat. There is some merit here that will not go unnoticed. The age-long discrepancies of Jesus' race are cleverly washed away into the colors of capitalism.

Wishing to see Shepard Fairey in a Jesus Obama shirt,

Kyle in Illinois, Age 23