American Economy

Dear God,
How disappointed are you in some of the recent mishaps of American Capitalism? Triggered by slight economic decline and stretched credit situations, it just doesn't seem like we can fire enough CEOs and economic officials to get back on track to the Golden Age. While it's gratefully recognized that free will is a pertinent element in the recipe for planet Earth, sometimes, rather often, I'd imagine you laugh at how timeless our motivators are.
With discerned laughter,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Gap Child Labor

Dear God,
Gap's Project (red) is under the cross-hairs again. It appears that remedying HIV in Africa with child labor in India is not a good business plan. Who knew? On the topic, Gap spokesman Bill Chandler explained "we're willing to end relationships with vendors when they don't meet our standards." Hopefully the children in India working 16 hour days in the "derelict industrial unit" at least know they were helping to fight HIV in Africa by allowing Gap consumers worldwide to spend double the usual amount of money on the same Gap products we all buy, while Gap graciously donates half of the doubled price to the HIV cause in Africa. Maybe project (blue) will be released in 2010 in India in order to solve child labor problems, and the HIV rescued African victims can make the shirts to sell to the world populous and really give back to India for their hard work?
Wearing my belt extra tight to not show off my Gap boxer briefs,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Salvation Army

Dear God,
What is your affiliation with this "Salvation Army?" Sometimes it feels they are advancing a bit too much with the perpetuated obscenities of capitalist America. Their slogan, "doing the most good" leaves me apprehensive about dropping cash into their carol surrounded capsules. "Doing the most good" sounds like something an Enron board of directors member would say to a judge in a tense situation, or something George Bush would say when requesting more war funding. For an organization tied to Christianity, the importance placed on good may be a bit much. It's understood that nobody's perfect, but striving for perfection in a humble way is usually more effective than proclaiming "most good," right? It's always easier to be passively critical about these things, but some clarification on why they are at least ringing bells before Thanksgiving would be well-received.
Dolla dolla bill,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Essentials

Dear God :
Thank you for air, blankets, and dreams.
Content,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Outer Space Jesus

Dear God,
Wretched metaphor or hilarious irony? Both?
Laughing with you,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Video Chat

Dear God,
This is a delayed expression of gratitude for giving the human populous video chat. I know I was looking for more distractions than existed a few years prior?
Yikes,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Inflatable Jesus

Dear God,
How soon will this be struck by lightning? Good idea?
Dumbfounded,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Neanderthals

Dear God,
Just something to think about ... was the age of neanderthals comparatively more frustrating or less frustrating than watching how we use the planet nowadays?
In cahoots,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Preparation H

Dear God,
Thank you for free will and bad decisions.
Love,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Global Warming

Dear God,
I'll keep this short. Fact or fiction? People are getting civil war crazy down here.
Lover of nature's bounty,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Film Writers

Dear God,
Why are the Film Writers of America on strike? Were they even doing anything to begin with? I know that you know I know my advice is completely unnecessary, but wouldn't it be nice if daytime television became re-runs and people spent more time away from the tele-screens? Come on ... Spider Man 3? Maybe strike will give the writers time to come up with good ideas at least.
Inquisitively yours,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Goulet

Dear God,
It's assumed by now you've rightfully restored Robert Goulet to the peak of his career. What tasks do you have in store for Dr. Suave in the afterlife? Personal songbird? Missions in poverty? Soldier of cosmological justice? It shouldn't take much to sell, so please convince the folks on this planet to honor him with a special holiday.
Sincerely yours,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

South Africa

Dear God,
Are you sad that South Africa needs to advertise to the rest of the world that it is "alive with possibility?" Who, more specifically, are they even advertising that to? Mercenaries to kill referees during the 2010 World Cup?
Successfully confused,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22

Children of Hope, Love, and Sandwichzangen

Dear God,
It has recently come to my attention that i have been spending excessive amounts of time dancing... Is this a problem? Why do i like it so much? Can we have a dance party after the senior shows?
Love,

Andrew in Wisconsin, Age 22

Nascar

Dear God,
Does Nascar make you gloat about how the planet you've created is being used?
Love,

Kyle in Wisconsin, Age 22